Friday, August 25

To Stork or not to Stork?

Storks are rapidly losing favor in the world of Baby Delivery, and I for one support the change. Truly passionate Baby Recruits are becoming more scarce (possibly due to a slight "altercation" between Storks Unlimited and a certain agent from the EmmaSquad), so I was preparing for the worst: expanding my search to those rather unpredictable and highly dramatic Soldiers Of the Underworld (aka Toddlers). Baby Recruits are far more pliable, with minds of mush that are ready and willing for anything. S.O.U.s have higher salary demands and extensive dietary requirements.

However, all has changed with a fabulous new service that has gone public only today: Dresser Drawer Delivery!



Yes, babies are now delivered conveniently to your own home by way of your dresser!

As you can see above, little Sammy arrived earlier this month to the great surprise of Michaela and John of Arlington County. What is more, they were not even located in their home when Baby Sam arrived - they were on holiday! What unparalleled service! Storks, be damned!

Dresser Drawer Babies are a convenient and safe way to receive your new munchkin. Each come with their own personality file composed by yours truly, which guarantees that your baby will prove him or herself a worthy Baby Soldier!

And as for that "altercation", I stand by ACE the AssasSINation when I say: that bird had it coming.