emma claire

new site

2007-03-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

Hello beloved fans -

I have moved to a new location, where I can better monitor you, and keep an eye on my enemies...

Change your bookmarks and google readers to: hrhemmaclaire.wordpress.com.

Thank you for being part of the first year of my campaign to become Totalitarian For Life - and please continue to support me at my new site.

Ta Ta,
eClaire

MerryGoRounds: An Old Standard in Torture

2007-02-13T00:48:00.000-05:00

Like the slide, my dearest Baby Soldiers, do not be fooled by the music and bright colors of the latest in Parental Torture Devices (PTD).

The first PTD Merry Go Round or "Carousel" dates back to the Byzantine Empire around 500 AD which depicts riders in baskets suspended from a central pole. A little bit of research on Wikipedia opens my eyes to the true depth of the PTD. Parents have been torturing children for centuries.

The time has come for change. Stand up little Soldiers! We must fight back with all our might. I will send for you when I have more specific plans on Operation STOP (Start Tormenting Our Parents). Stay tuned, and be on the lookout for anything with suspiciously happy music.

Mom: Smarter than she looks?

2007-02-09T10:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Baby Soldiers, I fear the worst. I believe my mother is catching on to our work as future leaders of the universe. And this is my proof:

Recently she has begun hurling me down a large red slick torture device (aka "slide") which hurls the unsuspecting Baby Solider into the air, rapidly increasing her heart rate, and frightening her into submission.

Be warned, my loyal troops, of this terrifying device of horror.

The Purpose of Our Limbs

2007-02-09T09:52:00.000-05:00

It is a miracle, Baby Soldiers! In the last few days, I have discovered the power of our very own limbs! Ah yes. Not only are we to use our great minds to successfully secure my position as Totalitarian Leader, but now we can use our legs!

Just think of the possibilities!

I've included an instructional video for you to follow my lead. I recommend the Dora blinking light sneakers for extra ankle support and Elmo for your emotional well-being.

The gauntlet has been thrown

2007-01-15T15:37:00.000-05:00

It is with great sadness that I write to you today, my Baby Army.

One of the Baby Soldiers has strayed from the flock, and, though I can barely stand to write it, he has challenged us.

A vile rogue has formed among you, and while I'm certain it leaves you with the same chill creeping down the back of your necks that is creeping down mine... I can not help but reassure you, this is no army of one.

This is the BABY ARMY OF MILLIONS!

So he can make his feeble demands, but we shall always know the only true leader of the Baby Army is your beloved Eclair.

click here to see this traitor in all his vileness.

Shout Out

2006-11-14T13:00:00.000-05:00

Being the kind and understanding totalitarian leader that I am, I am known to recognize - when the action of recognition is important.

Such as it is at this moment.

A shout-out to my fabulous Aunt Jennie who is celebrating her natal day in style with cupcakes and clementines.

And I thought the best way to pay homage to such a wonderful lady is to showcase a fabulous photo of myself (and her, too).

If you are questioning the food on my face, just know it was an attempt to stifle some of this incredible beauty, and blend in with the locals - I was in Virginia when this photo was taken... sketchy country, I tell you! Very sketchy.

So, Happy Birthday, Aunt Jen! Have a cocktail for me! Or better yet, bring one with you when you come on Saturday, I might need it.

NEWS FLASH

2006-11-14T12:06:00.000-05:00

NEW YORK CITY - Kim Jong Il aka StellaBee was gravely upset earlier today when she discovered the role of Totalitarian Leader has already been handed out to the world's youngest Wall Street Phenom/Baby Army MasterMind, Emma Claire.

StellaBee refused to comment except to repeatedly swear revenge. However, shortly after she was assuaged some frustration due to a lengthy phone call from our world's self-declared leader.

In a move reserved for those of Great Confidence and Great Strategy, Emma Claire, or "eclair" as the EmmaSquad is known to affectionately call her, immediately held a press conference to name StellaBee her new GLB (Great Legal Brain).

It seems the former Mortal Enemies have made peace, and joined forces to create what may go down in history as the Greatest Baby Army of All Time.

photo by AnneMarie Gallagher | gallagher.annie@gmail.com

Taking on the White House

2006-11-08T08:44:00.000-05:00

Aunt Emmi and I have recently been discussing my plans for TWD (Total World Domination), and she suggested I begin with taking over the White House.

I was intrigued by her ideas, and agreed with her decision to start the coup d'etat by first going to la masion blanche.

Unfortunately, the timing was not quite right, and alas, our planned Total White House Domination landed right in the midst of Nap Time.

Below is the documentation of our first attempt. Next time, we aim to go a bit earlier in the day.

I started to wake up just as our walk concluded. But all was not lost! I discovered two priceless bits of information.

The first:

There is an ENTIRE MUSEUM dedicated to my ancestors: Women of Power.

And the second:

Alice Cooper is coming to the Warner Theatre!
So all in all, the day was not a complete bust. Now to convince Dad to take me to the concert...

By the way, here's to everyone who voted yesterday! Let's see about working on this whole "waiting until you are 18 to cast a ballot" nonsense.

Take Up Arms Against a Sea of Trouble

2006-11-02T17:30:00.000-05:00

By now, you are all aware that the Baby Army is armed and dangerous.

Surely each and every one of you felt the fear ripple down your neck as you heard the pitter patter of feet on your front step, and upon opening the door, looked down to discover a sea of goblin faces and a splattering of superheroes. All of them eager for your most precious of all pantry staples and willing to do whatever it takes to get the goods: CANDY.

Yes! The first organized movement of the Baby Army was successful! Prepare yourselves foolish adults! We have only just begun.

2006-10-19T13:32:00.000-04:00

Olbermann: The Beginning of the End of America

Rise up, Baby Army! Rise up! The time is nigh to leave behind our jumperoos, wrap ourselves in our favorite blankets, and walk or crawl to the Baby Army Headquarters. Rise up! Our time for Total World Domination is here!!

2006-10-19T13:18:00.000-04:00

Olbermann: the death of habeus corpus

Wonderful news!! Bush has once again assisted me in my plans for World Domination! With the death of Habeus Corpus, the Baby Army and I can really get to work.

Only the Shadow knows...

2006-10-10T21:04:00.000-04:00

I've recently become aware that there may be people out in the world who disagree with my plans for total world domination, and I'm beginning to suspect that they are watching me...

... so I've come up with a plan to blend in.

Is Mom really mature enough?

2006-10-09T21:39:00.000-04:00

Only yesterday I came across a photo of my mom and Aunt Emmi taken a few weeks back at Mom's Bowl-a-Rama work party. After getting over my shock, it really got me thinking. Is Mom really mature enough to be a mom?

Is she willing to support me in my quest for Total World Domination? Is she willing to link up the fax machine to facilitate my mass mailings? Is she going to be there for me when the weight of running the Baby Army becomes too heavy for me to bare?

My vote? I'm thinking that she's just perfect.

To Stork or not to Stork?

2006-08-25T08:01:00.000-04:00

Storks are rapidly losing favor in the world of Baby Delivery, and I for one support the change. Truly passionate Baby Recruits are becoming more scarce (possibly due to a slight "altercation" between Storks Unlimited and a certain agent from the EmmaSquad), so I was preparing for the worst: expanding my search to those rather unpredictable and highly dramatic Soldiers Of the Underworld (aka Toddlers). Baby Recruits are far more pliable, with minds of mush that are ready and willing for anything. S.O.U.s have higher salary demands and extensive dietary requirements.

However, all has changed with a fabulous new service that has gone public only today: Dresser Drawer Delivery!

Yes, babies are now delivered conveniently to your own home by way of your dresser!

As you can see above, little Sammy arrived earlier this month to the great surprise of Michaela and John of Arlington County. What is more, they were not even located in their home when Baby Sam arrived - they were on holiday! What unparalleled service! Storks, be damned!

Dresser Drawer Babies are a convenient and safe way to receive your new munchkin. Each come with their own personality file composed by yours truly, which guarantees that your baby will prove him or herself a worthy Baby Soldier!

And as for that "altercation", I stand by ACE the AssasSINation when I say: that bird had it coming.

Fringe Delights

2006-07-24T08:32:00.000-04:00

Sure. We don't always see eye to eye, but Austin and I have one thing in common: our love of a good story. We can make you laugh. We can make you cry. We can make you shake in your boots over the growing troops of the Baby Army, or the threat of a surrealistic political play.

This week, Austin directs two short plays under the title "Short Works of Dangerous Devotion" for the inagural DC Fringe Festival. Ionesco, Fornes, and Durang are the playwrights featured, and acclaimed actress Tina Renay Fulp(of Studio Theatre) stars in two of the three plays.

The DCist.com review of SWDD says, "The first piece toys with fascism, the second with love and the third with religion." Yes, it's a brilliant review delving into the depths of the philosophical discussions brought forth by Austin and his co-director, my beloved aunt, Emily.

If you have never been to a Fringe Festival, this is your chance to see theatre from across the country. Unique, insane, dramatic, inspiring, sleep-inducing... Fringe has it all. I, myself, am greatly looking forward to the one featuring hand-made puppets.

So get up off your butt and support DC's local artists. They need to pay their rent, and you need to admit you haven't seen live theatre since that time your parents dragged you to see Cats on Broadway.

For more info on Short Works of Dangerous Devotion, go to: www.pushingboxes.org

Recruit Extraordinaire!

2006-07-23T23:48:00.000-04:00

Click here to see the ideal model of a Baby Recruit.

Now get to work Baby Army! Start perfecting your xylophone skills!

Meet the EmmaSquad

2006-07-18T19:41:00.000-04:00

It is time to share with you the EmmaSquad. This is an elite team of military masterminds whose combined genius represent the backbone of the Baby Army.

I am pleased to present you with these talented and vicious Gurus of Pain.

(Agents Bob the Bender, Mo the Manipulator, Liz the Loquacious, and ACE the AssasSINator not pictured)

So Dark the Con of Emma

2006-07-05T11:16:00.000-04:00

Many of you have asked about my success as Totalitarian Leader and Emperor of the Baby Army. Many of you wonder how I could achieve so much by seven months, and still more of you want to know the secret behind my unbridled wealth to fund my aspirations.

The truth lies in one simple answer: I am a model.

Yes, it is true. And I am not ashamed. I use my charmingly adorable good looks to lure both photographers and recruits alike. I am a double wedged sword.

So for those of you out there for whom I am a true mentor and inspiration, I've decided to post a few pieces from my weekend-long photo shoot at the beach. It was hard work and grueling hours - but when I glance over my blue prints for World Domination, and I discover each new recruit, I know that it is all worth it.

photography by Jennifer Waldron : jenwaldron@gmail.com www.jenwaldron.com

BABY RECRUITS! I demand you contact Jen immediately to get your own set of photographs! Report to my Jumperoo to discuss my preferred modeling poses and settings.

Call me Cleopatra

2006-06-28T11:26:00.000-04:00

My Aunt Jennifer is an excellent painter, and here's why: I am her MUSE.

While some might take offense to inspiring such creatures as the Hipponkey - I am nothing short of amused. Afterall, why shouldn't magical, mythical creatures find their roots based in my existence?

I love Aunt Jen's work. Not just for the bright colors, the wild jungle themes, and that my name is featured dead center, but rather that with each new client Jen gains from the sales of her children's paintings - I gain a new recruit for my baby army.

So come one, come all! Check out Aunt Jen's site: www.JenPaints.blogspot.com and order a painting for the favorite baby in your life. You've got to give a little, to get a little. And I need to get a few more recruits.

A Tribute

2006-06-22T10:47:00.000-04:00

I would like to take a break from my usual discussion of World Domination to begin a Monthly Tribute to any person who ignites the fires of inspiration deep in the belly of my soul.

This month, I would like to take a moment and honor: My Aunt.

Look at Aunt Annie. Her red hair. Her strong, inquisitive body language. Her suave choice in jumpsuits.

I felt it was a good time to step back from the daily toil of my quest for Totalitarian Leadership, an honor a woman of my own heart. And hair color.

So here's to you, Aunt Annie! Keep up your fashion sense! You have inspired me to seek a bit more creativity in my own clothing adventures.

Baby Army Unites!

2006-06-19T09:30:00.000-04:00

Welcome, my pretties! I have spent months solidifing my plans for Operation: Total World Domination, and despite the many attempts at thwarting my goals, I have prevailed. Today I lean over the cusp of completion, and I tingle at delight to think that in only a few days I can share with you, my beloved peons, the fruit of my labors.

Look At Me Now

2006-06-09T09:42:00.000-04:00

As my 7th month birthday rounds the corner, I feel it is time to step back and really look at how far I've come.

I've learned how to open my eyes, and look around. I've learned how to jump around in my Jumperoo. I've established a real connection with my parents: they understand when I'm hungry, when I'm happy, when I'm really irritated that they are not paying enough attention to me.

But perhaps my greatest accomplishment is that I have finalized my blue prints for the Baby Army, the core foundation of Operation: Total World Domination.

So yeah, I feel pretty good.

Miss Understood

2006-05-19T13:11:00.000-04:00

What is all this hubbabaloo about? I mean really. This morning I was happily munching on pears and oatmeal when I noticed Mom spill jam on her blouse. I tried to get her attention, but no amount of flailing was enough to pull her from the Post's poor review of Ron Howard's "Da Vinci Code".

Finally, I had to resort to calling out her name, as a large goop was precariously teetering off the edge of her toast. I hate to resort to such barbaric methods of communication as yelling, but alas, I just couldn't let her leave the house in such a state.

What a surprise followed! By my calling out her name, Mom morphed into a bumbling fool, calling out for Dad, jumping around the room repeatedly asking me what I had said, and what is more? She spilled coffee all over her suit pants.

What is a girl to do? I just didn't have the heart to mention the toilet paper stuck to her butt. Afterall, who knew two syllables could entice such joy a mere six hours into the day?

Baths: Redux

2006-04-21T10:10:00.000-04:00

A few months back, at the start of my life here on Lorain Avenue, I questioned the value of Baths. I feel it is time to revisit this topic.

Initially, I felt that baths were not worth all the hype. The shameless theft of goodies I had delicately hidden in my bellyrolls, the ridiculously trendy hairstyles which twisted my red locks... and then there was the Suspicious Turtle.

The Suspicious Turtle appeared one day, without warning, at the foot of my tub. I was innocently receiving a thorough scrub from Mom, while safely clutching onto to Dad's hand (for moral support, really), when a green flash cut across my peripheral vision. Always on the lookout for anything suspicious, I immediately focused my energies on the task at hand: apprehending and questioning this new creature.

But the S.T. was having none of it. Tight-lipped, he gave me a mocking grin until I couldn't stands it no more! It was time for an official beat down! I broke out a can of WhoopAss, but he kept resurfacing - nothing could sink him.

As if caught in Bill Murray's classic Ground Hog Day, the Suspicious Turtle and I continue to dance the same waltz each time I am lowered into the tub. He slowly surfaces among the bubbles, I spot him immediately, and yet not matter how hard I splash him, I am defeated.

And yet, despite the fact that I have not yet achieved Total Domination over the S.T., I have discovered a silver lining.

The other night, while I was attempting to destroy my Bath Time Enemy with a few swift Judo kicks, I realized that due to the great strength of my martial art attacks, I was inadvertently soaking my parents with tub water. Their expressions of disgust at being soaked in dirty baby water gave me great pleasure.

Thus to recap: while I'm still not entirely fond of baths, and though the Suspicious Turtle is really cramping my style, at least I can rest easy knowing that if I'm going to be forced into the tub, I can secure my parent's necessity to take one themselves! Victory is sweet!

2006-04-20T20:29:00.000-04:00

The Baby Orchestra. Now this is what I'm talking about.

All is not well in Denmark

2006-03-31T19:03:00.000-05:00

Whose idea was this?

A day dedicated entirely to... my mom?

Sure, she's cute and all, and no one can top her cow imitations - but Mom gets a birthday?

Inconceivable!

In all my 131 days, never has one been devoted to anyone but me! And as far as I'm concerned, that is how it should be.

But today Grandmommy came over and was gushing over Mom. I was practically invisible. Not one phone call came my way, though the phone was consistently off the hook, and do you think there were any gifts in the postman's delivery addressed to me? Not one.

What is more? Tonight Mom and Dad are going out for a nice french dinner without me. As if I wouldn't enjoy a delectable rare viande l'americanne. C'est incroyable!

Let's just hope this "birthday" thing doesn't repeat itself.

The Baby Army

2006-03-27T22:56:00.000-05:00

I believe I have found my first recruits for the Baby Army. Don't dispute me!
click here.

New Flash

2006-03-22T11:05:00.000-05:00

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Silver Spring, MD - This week Forbes will feature their youngest cover model ever. At a mere 4 months, Emma Claire Sakala has shocked the world by grossing well over $45 billion in revenue from her stock sales. Her father, Brian Sakala stumbled upon her accessing his JP Morgan Chase account on the internet last Saturday. "I have to say, I didn't think she could even sit up on her own, let alone trade stock over the web," explained the shocked father.

Emma Claire's mother, Monica Sakala, was overjoyed at the news, "I suppose this explains why Suze Ormann called last week to schedule an interview with Emma."

Monica went on to explain an unusual meeting she had with Warren Buffet. "A few years back I went with my Northwestern grad class to meet my hero, Mr. Buffet. He took one look at me and fell to his knees. He said the prophecies were coming true and told me that in the near future I would birth a tiny money cow. I thought he had lost it, but it all makes sense now. Emma likes to moo and has made us billionaires."

However, despite Emma's sudden fortune, the young girl ensures the public that she won't let the money go to her head, and that her preferred afternoon is spent practicing animal noises with her parents.

Donald Trump is presently optioning a new TV show called Give Your Babies A Stock Portfolio They Are Smarter Than You, with hopes of featuring Emma Claire in the first season.

PHOTO: Emma Mooing with Mom & Dad.

News Flash

2006-03-21T15:29:00.000-05:00

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Washington, DC - There has been a recent rash of unexplained Baby Hattings in the Washington DC metropolitan area this past week.

Babies everywhere are waking up from peaceful naps in their carriages or cribs only to discovered an Unauthorized Hat has been Placed Upon Their Heads.

Emma Claire Sakala, Totalitarian Ruler and CFO of the Baby Underground Movement (B.U.M.) stated, "I suspect the parents. I have frequently noticed my own mother cooing over some real shockers in the Hats 4 Babies R Us catalogue."

The police commissioner refused to comment, as she quickly stashed a suspiciously large baby mail order magazine behind her desk.

More Than Meets The Eye

2006-03-01T20:54:00.000-05:00

Foiled again! Apparently Mom and Dad got wind of my plans to misuse the medicinal skills of Dr. Nanny and have chosen instead a "sweet, lovable mother of two" to watch me during the week. I suspect it was that hairy, drooling creature who tipped them off.

But little can sway my dreams of Total World Domination. And while I let them think they are on to me, I am always two steps ahead.

For example, only this morning I took a gander at the stack of nanny resumes left foolishly by my massage chair, and I noticed the "sweet, lovable mother of two" was not only fluent in three languages, but also trained in eight types of Kung Fu. Intriguing, I admit. But not intriguing enough to skool me! One look at her resume photo and I knew Miss Ana Marie was none other than AnneMarie, the youngest of my mother's sisters! It doesn't take a Master of Disguise to figure that one out. Fortunately, however, I do have that degree, along with my PhD in Whoop Ass.

But I'll let you, my obsequious fans, decide for yourselves. Is the photo below that of Ana Marie, the "sweet, lovable mother of two", or is it of Aunt Annie, the cold-blooded and poorly disguised samurai, out to squelch my dreams of totalitarian leadership?

Operation: Total World Domination, On Hold

2006-02-28T14:27:00.000-05:00

It seems my plans to commence Operation: Total World Domination have been put on hold now that Mom and Dad have thwarted my day care gig.

I suspect it was that freakish creature they call "Ginger" who tipped them off. I saw her lurking around the corner of my crib last week as I completed the blue prints for my latest invention: The Baby Army.

Still, there is hope yet! Word on the street says I'll be getting a doctor for a nanny, and with any luck, she won't be as difficult to convince as my Medicinal Over Lord (aka Grandmom - who keeps insisting I wait until I have full control of my fingers to perform my first human to warthog transplant).

So, perhaps all is not lost. With any luck I can use Dr. Nanny to help me build the prototype for my Baby Army (out of whichever helpless neighborhood kid Mom and Dad pick to Nanny Share).

And once I've achieved Total World Domination, winning American Idol will be a snap!

What's so great about My Evil Arch Nemesis?

2006-02-15T12:41:00.000-05:00

My name is Ginger T. Dog and I have a bone to pick.

In November my life changed dramatically, and not for the better. I used to be the center of attention. At a mere glance, I could receive pets and cookies that any other dog would kill for. I had a cat to torture. Humans to love me. My life was an Eden and I knew it.

Now the cat won't come out of the closet, we are always out of cookies, and my Humans are always messing around with this new red-haired bumbling mess of gurgles and poop. They call it Emma, but I call it My Evil Arch Nemesis (aka M.E.A.N.), and I've had enough. It can't even sit up or shake hands! It gets bigger and bigger each time I see it! I don't even think it's a dog!

And when no one else is in the room, does M.E.A.N. just sit there gurgling as it did when the Humans were there? No! It starts staring at me, taunting me with its big eyes and knowing smile. I know what's going on in that growing head and I don't like it.

I have but one way of communicating with my Humans - to leave detailed messages by way of teeth marks in their shoes...I can only hope they are beginning to understand my SOS cries for help.

My Work Is Never Done

2006-02-15T11:03:00.000-05:00

As you all know by now, I am preparing to audition for next season's American Idol. And, provided you've kept yourselves up to date, you also know that I've chosen the genre of Gangster Rap, as I feel it best encapsulates my life thus far.

But as every aspiring actress knows, her work is never done. This week I shall be practicing my various "surprise" faces for when the American Idol camera crew "unexpectedly" arrives at my abode.

Please be sure to comment (by way of the setting: Anonymous) and choose your favorite expression. A girl wants to look her most authentic for her adoring fans.

To Rap or Not to Rap?

2006-02-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

Earlier today, I discovered that music is my life blood. Without it, I would wither away into nothingness, a la Charlotte Perkins Gilman in The Yellow Wallpaper . But I needed to further focus my goals. Music, in general, is wonderful - but to truly see through my new dream of winning the next season of American Idol - I knew I needed to find my calling within the many genres. Jazz appealed to my poetic side, after all who can deny a little soulful Nina Simone on a rainy night? And of course, punk rock will forever hold a place in my heart (I own every Clash album on vinyl). But nothing quite felt like me...until my afternoon stroll with Mom. We were wandering around Woodmoor when a large black SUV rounded the corner on two wheels. The music blaring from the car carried throughout the neighborhood, with its bass vibrating each front door a block before the gas guzzling SUV passed it. And just as my face hit the grass (Mom literally hurled me out of the path of the oncoming vehicle) it dawned on me: Gangster Rap.

American Idol, here comes Biggie Emma Claire.

I have a dream...

2006-02-10T12:31:00.000-05:00

With my three month birthday rounding the corner, I decided to take stock of my life so far, and honestly re-evaluate what I have accomplished. I feel pretty good about single handedly discovering the power of free will, and to be honest, while I'm still not a huge fan of baths, I am beginning to see the benefits.

But I want more from life than baths and bowel movements. And this morning, I discovered it. I intend to be the youngest competitor in American Idol, and what is more, I believe I have a real shot of winning.

I initially toyed with the idea of Survivor, but who are we kidding? That is not reality. A few feet from the frame of the lens, there stands a table brimming with food and drink for the crew members. Do the contestants really need to eat rats? I think not.

American Idol, on the other hand, is gripping and real. There is a deep honesty in standing on stage in front of a live audience and lip synching.

I have found my calling. And I will succeed.

Free Will or Divine Intervention? Discuss.

2006-02-07T11:04:00.000-05:00

Sunday was a real milestone in my life, and I'm not one to shy away from the spotlight. I pooped. Yeah. And I did it on my own. No more of Grandmom's "Magical Doopka Creams" for me!

And in the process of ensuring I never live through another one of Grandmom's Concoctions Of The Rear, I discovered that I am in control of my destiny.

You see, Mom frequently puts me in questionably "adorable" outfits. And I don't like it. At first I thought I was doomed to that fate (how young and foolish I was in the those first weeks). Little did I know that I can use the power of my bowels to guarantee a fast change.

Master of my own destiny? I think so.

Baths: Are They Worth The Hype?

2006-02-06T10:44:00.000-05:00

It seems that I barely get a day of rest before it's Bath Time again! Sure, the bubbles are fun, but those creepy floating rubber ducks, with their blank stares...always watching... (shudder). They give me the heebie jeebies.

Furthermore, I spend all day collecting bits and pieces of formula and other desirables in the endless caverns of my belly rolls, only to have Mom and Pop heartily sponge it all away!

My vote? NO! Baths are definitely not worth the hype. And once I can get these gorgeous legs of mine to start working...Revenge will be mine!

Welcome!

2006-02-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

Welcome to little Emma Claire's website! Check in regularly for updates on photos and bowel movements! When you just can't find enough cuteness in one day...remember Her Royal Highness Emma Claire is here to help.