Free Will or Divine Intervention? Discuss.

Sunday was a real milestone in my life, and I'm not one to shy away from the spotlight. I pooped. Yeah. And I did it on my own. No more of Grandmom's "Magical Doopka Creams" for me!

And in the process of ensuring I never live through another one of Grandmom's Concoctions Of The Rear, I discovered that I am in control of my destiny.

You see, Mom frequently puts me in questionably "adorable" outfits. And I don't like it. At first I thought I was doomed to that fate (how young and foolish I was in the those first weeks). Little did I know that I can use the power of my bowels to guarantee a fast change.

Master of my own destiny? I think so.