I have a dream...

With my three month birthday rounding the corner, I decided to take stock of my life so far, and honestly re-evaluate what I have accomplished. I feel pretty good about single handedly discovering the power of free will, and to be honest, while I'm still not a huge fan of baths, I am beginning to see the benefits.

But I want more from life than baths and bowel movements. And this morning, I discovered it. I intend to be the youngest competitor in American Idol, and what is more, I believe I have a real shot of winning.

I initially toyed with the idea of Survivor, but who are we kidding? That is not reality. A few feet from the frame of the lens, there stands a table brimming with food and drink for the crew members. Do the contestants really need to eat rats? I think not.

American Idol, on the other hand, is gripping and real. There is a deep honesty in standing on stage in front of a live audience and lip synching.

I have found my calling. And I will succeed.