News Flash

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Washington, DC - There has been a recent rash of unexplained Baby Hattings in the Washington DC metropolitan area this past week.

Babies everywhere are waking up from peaceful naps in their carriages or cribs only to discovered an Unauthorized Hat has been Placed Upon Their Heads.

Emma Claire Sakala, Totalitarian Ruler and CFO of the Baby Underground Movement (B.U.M.) stated, "I suspect the parents. I have frequently noticed my own mother cooing over some real shockers in the Hats 4 Babies R Us catalogue."

The police commissioner refused to comment, as she quickly stashed a suspiciously large baby mail order magazine behind her desk.