New Flash

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Silver Spring, MD - This week Forbes will feature their youngest cover model ever. At a mere 4 months, Emma Claire Sakala has shocked the world by grossing well over $45 billion in revenue from her stock sales. Her father, Brian Sakala stumbled upon her accessing his JP Morgan Chase account on the internet last Saturday. "I have to say, I didn't think she could even sit up on her own, let alone trade stock over the web," explained the shocked father.

Emma Claire's mother, Monica Sakala, was overjoyed at the news, "I suppose this explains why Suze Ormann called last week to schedule an interview with Emma."

Monica went on to explain an unusual meeting she had with Warren Buffet. "A few years back I went with my Northwestern grad class to meet my hero, Mr. Buffet. He took one look at me and fell to his knees. He said the prophecies were coming true and told me that in the near future I would birth a tiny money cow. I thought he had lost it, but it all makes sense now. Emma likes to moo and has made us billionaires."

However, despite Emma's sudden fortune, the young girl ensures the public that she won't let the money go to her head, and that her preferred afternoon is spent practicing animal noises with her parents.

Donald Trump is presently optioning a new TV show called Give Your Babies A Stock Portfolio They Are Smarter Than You, with hopes of featuring Emma Claire in the first season.

PHOTO: Emma Mooing with Mom & Dad.